When in a relationship we often find ourselves in situations, both big and small, where problems arise. Why is it so important that we win or lose every situation?
This particular question arises from the purchase of a new router and my husband’s opinion of what the new router password will be. He has picked out a router of a brand that I don’t trust and have has issues with in the past. Now I am stuck with it. I didn’t fight over this. I proceeded to comment on what the new router password will be. I had created and memorized our old one, a more complex combination of numbers. He could never remember the password though once it was saved on his devices it really didn’t matter.
Any way. We started going back and forth over the password. Taking my extremely good mood and great day I was having and slowly turning it down into a moderate to bad day.
Lines of the argument included but were not limited to:
Him- “Why do you want to use that type of password any way it’s too long and confusing?”
Me - “Because I want no excuse or chance of anyone guessing the password.”
Him- “No one is going to guess that password and if they can get past the password on the router they can get past your bank password and that’s the more important one to keep safe.”(implying that my bank password is simple and easy to guess. Which it is not.)
Me - “Why are you making such a big deal out of this? I just want the router to be protected and locked”
Him - “Why are you making such a big deal out of this I just want a different password.”
Me - “And I just want to feel like its secure”
There were more points thrown about including about how it wasn’t that difficult to memorize the code.
Needless to say his final statement of the argument was “Why can’t I just get what I want?” I made a choice. I could have gone into a number of reasons why or rather a number of arguments that would have ended up making. Both our days worse. Or I could bite the bullet.
I bit the bullet. Some place in the back of my mind all I could hear was pick your battles.
I told him in a voice that the kids I look after would know for unhappy and more then a bit pissed off. He either didn’t pick up on it or didn’t care.
Now I’m sitting here questioning what battles I want to fight and what ones I want to accept defeat on. What I want to fight for and what isn’t worth my time.
Let go of the little things and let the big things be what causes waves and wake in the waters of your life.
- Z & B